Backwards
by blueforu
Summary: "It a goodbye, a hello, and the drink of our life's" A world with worlds leaving you to guess what really real.
1. Chapter 1

_'This is becoming a problem, I'm hurting, it's unfair'_

_I Hate This Song by Secondhand Serenade_

"Three…Two… One..."

The sound of my bedroom door being slammed awakes me.

My room is filled with a painful light. I can hear a voice, _my sister's_ voice but her words aren't clicking in my head. I'm just trying to blink away the light and make the burning in my throat go away.

"Tori" my name sounds like a record player being played backwards.

I feel an overwhelming sickness in stomach as fear plays it way deep into my veins.

_Jade West_

_Jade West_

_Jade West_

The name rings louder than any drum as images of us _being _overwhelm me; _take me away. _

My heart breaks from my memories…

I got up early each morning only to panic about being late because of Trina and her need to be "perfect".

I never wanted to miss one of our shared (yet secret) smiles that were becoming less rare.

How Jade would try to tell me that I make her life better than Beck ever did or could.

Something hits home to deep knowing that she probably with Beck right now.

_I'll never be the one. _

_The one she loves_

_The one she kisses in the hallway.._

No she only kissed me in janitor closet or late at night when no ones home.

I'll never be Beck it was stupid of me to even think-

"Did you hear me?" Trina grunts dramatically making the feeling in my heart ache even more.

_"Don't tell anyone. It's our secret…"_

Jade's words felt as if she just spoke them.

"I'm not up for helping you" I whisper the truth knowing that it went against everything I am.

_"Tori you have to help me!"_

If only I hadn't helped Beck…

"Do you see how I'm dressed?" I force myself to look at Trina.

Trina's face was smeared in toothpaste "I have to get ready for my date tonight get the door!"

I gave a slight nod and pushed my covers off my body.

I took notice of my work uniform as Trina helped herself to my closet.

_My Job? _

I felt a sharp pain behind my eyes as I recalled my mom getting me a job because of my depressing attitude.

"Where do I work though?" I mumble out not knowing the answer.

The sound of the doorbell being chimed made Trina swear as she dropped my dress.

"Get the door!"

"Sorry I zoned out" I mutter standing up while stretching my none tried bones.

_So strange_

"Someone's at the door and I'm not answering it looking like this" Trina says pointing at her face "I have a reputation, this could ruin it!"

Sighing I try to rub the wrinkles from my work uniform while walking.

"Coming" I yell as I run down the stairs only causing the person to ring faster and also for them to knock like a woodpecker.

"I'm coming" I yell frustrated as I open the door.

I felt my throat become tight as my eyes clouded with tears.

Standing at the door were all my friends and _Jade._


	2. Chapter 2

_'Try to forget love, 'cause love's forgotten me'_

_Decoy by Paramore_

"Vega"

"Tori!" Cat squeals causing me to cringe as she pulls me into a hug.

I can tell Cat is happy because her hug becoming painfully tight "Cat. Can't. Breath."

"Sorry" Cat giggles as she releases me from her bear hug.

"We missed you and I haven't seen you this whole summer!"

_The whole summer?_

I felt my cheek beat red as I recollect myself.

"It actually reminds me of my brother and how…" My eyes met Jade's and I feel like I'm drowning.

Looking into Jade's eyes made me feel like time doesn't matter.

_That tomorrow wasn't…._

"And still to this day I have no idea how he got that fish in my bed."

Jade breaks eye contact as _everyone _walks inside my living room.

"We've missed you" Andre says as he pats my shoulder going over to the piano.

"I know" I softly spoke as everyone made themselves at home.

_"Don't look up"_

"Wait do you have a job?" Robbie asked as he sat down with Rex his puppet.

"Yes"

"Could have of told us" Rex said causing agreement from everyone besides Jade.

"Sorry"

I sense no worry at the lack of my words as Beck turns on the television.

_Jade is here_

_In my house_

It's hard to remind myself why she here. That if Beck wasn't my _friend _than she would be off somewhere cutting something up.

_I'm nothing to her_

My lip trembles as I rub my eyes noticing Robbie's intense stare.

"What" I ask forcing my smile for the first time in my life.

_But if I'm depressed why is it my first time?_

I felt a flicker of recalling other moments but it's out of reach.

"Tori"

The sound of my name made me look over to a frowning Andre.

"I asked you why you been ignoring us this whole summer but I can tell that you still are." Robbie says causing Jade to grunt.

_I feel so broken but no one knows that but Jade._

"Sorry I just been busy with work and you guys know that my sister Trina, right?"

My joke caused a smile from Robbie, a laugh from Beck and Andre while Cat looked at me with a deep frown.

Jade was glaring daggers at me.

_I feel so torn up inside but I've never felt this after a break up before…._

The pounding in my head made me closes my eyes.

My common sense was acting wacky but my heart was still in tune.

**Xxx**

Two months earlier

"Please Tori do this for me?" Beck begging was making me feel guilt.

I _love_ to help my friends but this was a stretching it.

"Beck if you want to" I lean in closer to Beck so no could hear us "Break up with Jade you have to do it."

Beck was leaving to Canada to do a short film.

_Why does he want to break up Jade though?_

"Tori" Beck sighs running his hand through his hair "I need a break and I'll owe you one."

His sad brown eyes overwhelmed me as I got into Beck's truck.

_He was my ride to Jade's._

Xxx

"Good luck"

I huffed as I shut Beck's truck door.

_I should be wishing him luck!_

Jade's house looked like it belonged to a sweet little family that millions of dollars to waste.

I felt like I was about to choke on my tongue as I forced myself to walk to the front door.

The sound of Beck's truck moving against the gravels made the dread forming in my stomach to increase.

All I can see is the doorbell; reaching forward I try to ring the door when the front door opens and a pale hand with black nails grabs my wrist.

Gasping in fear I scream.

"Shut up the neighbors!" Jade West was in a towel!

_How did she know I was at the door?_

I looked down to avoid Jade's glare only for my eyes to follow the trickle of water that was heading towards Jade's breast.

"Ow!" I scream pulling my wrist from Jade's hand; Bitch dug her nails deep into my skin!

"Why did you do that?!" I asked rubbing my now free wrist and feeling anger at Beck for putting me in this position.

"Why are you here Vega?" Jade asked folding her arms looking at me as if I wasn't even there.

I'm nervous again; licking my lips I try to find my voice but nothing coming out.

"Vega!" The spite in her voice makes me cringe.

"Beck doesn't want to be with you anymore." I say rushing my words together.

Jade's eyes shine before I could even try to figure how to help Jade she slams the front door in my face.

"I shouldn't have been the one to do that" The pain in my wrist was forgotten about completely.

Xxx

"Tori!" Trina shrieks in a panic makes my eyes snap to the stairs.

"When someone texts you if people are here you should warn them!"

The laughs from my friends almost drowned out my sister slamming a door shut.

Searching my front pocket I find my phone. Sliding it open I become aware of four text messages from Trina and a private Slap message from _Jade_.

**Jade: **Stop zoning out you're giving everyone a creepy feeling!

_Should I reply or say something back?_

Jade noticed how messed I'm up when _my best friends _weren't even paying attention.

_It doesn't feel good knowing that…_

I should have never done Beck that favor or maybe not even stay to make sure Jade was okay.

_If I could change time I would._

Xxx

"I should have hung out with Cat" I huffed as I stood looking at Jade's front door.

The idea of leaving should have made me feel light but instead my concern for Jade made me want to make sure she was okay.

Raising my hand towards the doorbell I almost felt silly waiting for her hand to grab me before ringing.

_As if Jade would grab my wrist again_.

After a moment there was no sign of Jade so I knocked.

"Jade would hurt me as if I tried knocking on her door _like_ a mad women."

_The neighbors _

"Jade" I yell loud enough for everyone to hear "Open the door Jade I want my money."

I notice an old couple walking a dog looking over and decide to be very uncreative.

"I ain't goin'" I yelled towards the elderly couple feeling ridiculous quoting Bringing Down the House.

I started to hit the door with my hand balled up into a fist.

"It's your baby, Jade, and don't you deny it!"

I dropped to my knees dragging out a fake cry noticing that I had other people besides the elderly couple watching.

"That DNA test told on you!"

I feel my cheeks going red as I looked over all this strangers feeling proud of my acting skills and trying not to break character.

"You lie, Jade!"

"You know that little-"

"Vega" The door swung open causing me to fall face first from my over dramatic knocking.

"What did I tell you earlier!" Jade was fully dress, eyes a bit red, and her jaw was clenched as she grabbed my arms pulling me into her house before shutting the door.

"I just did that to make sure you were okay" I gave a nervous smile.

"Jade are you okay?"

I screeched in fear as Jade pulled me into an unexpected hug.

Her body shaking and I didn't know weather from tears or laughter.

"I don't know what to do" Jade spoke into my neck.

I felt her breath on my neck "About what?"

"Should I hurt you with my scissors or Beck?"

From her voice alone I could tell she fighting back tears.

"Beck"

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, I have eyewitness that heard me trying to get in here."

"I could" Jade grunted "I have footage on my security cams of you watching the door forever."

Laughing I try pull out of the hug only to have Jade turn our hug into a grip.

_I really enjoyed holding Jade…_

"Shhh..Jade everything going to be okay."

I felt Jade's back tense at my attempt of comforting words.

I try to rub them away but Jade moves out of my arms.

"What would you know Vega! Huh? Wasn't you're longest relationship with some cheater? Don't you dare…" She closed her eyes as took a deep breathe.

I felt hurt knowing that each word was beyond truthful.

"You know I'm related to Trina so being an idiot might run in the family" My try of a joke falls flat.

"But unlike Trina I know pain when I see it and I can try to help you stop the stinging."

_More silence_

I try a different approach.

"Jade" she lowers her hand and looks at me.

"You're right I have no idea if things will be okay" Jade eyes aren't filled with tears.

"But Jade you're the strongest person I know you'll can get through this."

I felt nervous as Jades eyes looked me over before a half grin took over her face.

Hands were in my hair before I knew what was happening and lips touched lips.

_I could hear my heart dance_


End file.
